Threesomes & Sexually Yours

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

Hi, I have a kind of weird question. there are three of us that live together. Well I guess you could say more than that because it is a husband and two wives, at least that is what we consider ourselves. We are all dedicated to each other, just like any other married couple, neither woman or the man would not, does not want to have anyone else. The only thing that is missing is for it to be a three way marriage is the legal papers.

This all started out with my wife #1 and myself, we are avid swingers and would meet with couples and singles. This is where wife #2 comes in; we, being my wife and myself, worked with wife #2. It started out with her being attracted to the husband and was flirting. Well, the husband told her we were married and yet she was still interested. So he invited her over to have some drinks and play around, everything went accordingly, and she ended up spending the night. Then returned almost everyday thereafter, staying longer and longer.

To make a long story short we both fell in love with her and she moved in. Now we are totally devoted to one another and we all swing together. We swing just like any other couple, same room, not without each other all the same room as other swingers.

Signed
Threesomes and Sexually Yours
Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine

Dear Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine

Most people in the Lifestyle profess to be “open minded” and most individuals and couples have rules designed to address specific situations. examples may include: no singles, no drugs, no taking one for the team etc. these rules are designed to promote comfort and safety in situations that are physically, socially, and emotionally complex.

In addition, the majority of people in the Lifestyle are married and heterosexual, living as typical couples live in the “plain vanilla” world. they most often believe in a singular/monogamous love relationship and consider their Lifestyle relationships in the category of “friends with benefits.”

The design of your relationship is “different” and therefore receives a different level of scrutiny, attention and reactivity. In speaking with other triads, they also have experienced feelings of “being stared” at, “rejection,” or “different attention from singles.”

Your best bet is to discuss the nature of your relationship with potential playmates. you did a great job of describing it in the paragraph preceding your question. You will most likely receive some nervous grins, raised eyebrows, and some flat out rejections along with “Threes Company” references. Be prepared for questions. Typical ones include, “Do you all sleep in the same bed?” “How do you split the chores?” “What to you tell your neighbors?”
Balance the benefits and happiness you derive from your relationship with the knowledge that your opportunities to play with other couples will most likely be reduced. You may also make attempts to seek out other triads. I found two and didn’t have to search very far.

Live Life & Have Fun

Dr. R. Lindsey