swinging couples

Restaurant Date

February 22, 2013 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Dear Lifestyle Counselor,

When being seated at the restaurant, should a man walk ahead of or behind the women? When is the appropriate time to lead versus follow?
Signed Restaurant date

Dear Restaurant Date,

It is common courtesy to walk in front of her, so when you arrive at the table, you may extend her chair as a caring act. Now, if you and your wife are on a date with another couple, again you may walk with the other gentleman and allow the wives to follow behind together, and as a kind gesture pull their chairs out for them.

Sincerely,
LC

Unicorns

October 8, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

What is a Unicorn? Swingerdictionary.com determines it a slang for a single, generally bisexual female that participates in the swing lifestyle. Referred to as a “Unicorn” because they are so rare, they are also the most sought after in the lifestyle. Being a single lady, or Unicorn in the lifestyle can be a rewarding experience, it can also garner benefits from a couples perspective. Although these women are rare, they are not hard to find. The benefits of being a single swinging woman in the lifestyle are amazing. When a swinger party is thrown the usual is a free entrance for single ladies. Unicorn’s will more than likely get their drinks for free and they can have the pick of any couple, or man at the event at most given times.

When Unicorns are at a swinging event, be honest. What this means is, if you are or are not bisexual, let the couple or Unicorn know this up front. If you are not honest up front it can irritate people and cause trouble. Some women actually like to share their male partners with a straight woman as there are many fetishes and turn-on for each individual.

Unicorns need to be respectful of couples and their boundaries and since they are single some ladies may be cautious of you, especially if you are not bi. Just be sincere about your desires, and be sure to address any concerns that the couple may have with you. Again don’t pretend to be bisexual if you are not just to have sex with a guy.

Unicorns probably have the most fun in the lifestyle, they can have one man, one woman or both please her, while the couple will also be pleased at the same time. Unicorns have the advantage of a no strings attached relationship, and therefore do not need to abide by a spouses rules. But most importantly, if you are a couple, you need to abide by the rules you and your partner have agreed upon. Unicorns although rare, are not hard to find, especially in the digital age. Swinger sites like SwingLifeStyle have so many members, and it’s recognized as the largest swingers site. With that in mind, finding one will be easier than you think. The hard part is setting it up, again just as Unicorns need to be honest, you as a couple need to be honest. Some Unicorns may only want a bisexual experience with the wife, so be honest with everyone across the board.

Some readers have written in on this subject telling me they can not find one, but when questioned, they can’t find one that will play with them by their rules. Again some Unicorns may only want to play with one partner, some may want both of you, or just the husband. Make sure everyone is on the same page, if one of the three of you are not comfortable, then move on to the next. Think about the kind of person who would be compatible with you and your lifestyle. Go over your wants, What do you enjoy? What do you believe? What do you want to share with this person? Give up the assumption that you’ll find one person who will fit with both members of a couple. It might happen, it might not, don’t be disgruntled or lower your standards. Keep in mind that just knowing that a couple is specifically looking for a bi female to be with them sexually is enough to send most single bisexual females running. You know why?

Because there are too many couples looking for threesome, they are not interested in a particular woman because of whom she is, they want a female to have sex with. This is where you have to be honest and be subtle and not too pushy for either party. The single ladies get blasted with emails, even hate mail. Unicorns complain that too many couples and single males send hate mail if they are turned down. One email will suffice, and make sure you are honest, and your letter resembles your profile. The last thing you want is an email to a Unicorn looking for a bisexual threesome and your profile is listing the wife as being straight. Abide by the above aforementioned and you will have a fun mystical journey as a Unicorn or with a Unicorn in the lifestyle.

Filed Under: Newbies Guide To Swinging Tagged With: lifestyle couples, single female, swingers, swinging, swinging couples, the lifestyle, unicorns

Lifestyle Interview: Rick & Vicki

August 20, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

LifeStyle Nicknames:

Nick names, no not really. We are among the lucky ones who are able to be totally out about the lifestyle. I guess we have been for 5 to 6 years. We use our real names and people know us simply as Rick and Vicki.

How long in the LifeStyle?

We’ve been in the lifestyle for about 20 years now. We’ve taken time off here and there but love the people, the positive energy and acceptance that you find in the lifestyle. It’s a running joke that we started in the lifestyle before we were lucky enough to have the internet. So it meant heading to some seedy porn shops to pick up the latest Swingers Magazine in the hope that we would find others like us. These were the days of chat lines and voicemail boxes. Wow, have times changed.

What is your relationship?

We’ve been married for 22 years. We actually met at work, and ended up getting married four months after our first date. They say when it’s right it’s right. I guess they are correct in that. Its funny most of the people that knew us from work thought we were doomed and would end up divorced in a very short time. Here we are 22 years later having watched many of them go through multiple marriages and divorces and the crazy “swinger” couple lives on… Who would have thought?

How did you get started?

After being married a couple years we were laying in bed one night watching a pornographic movie, most specifically a girl – girl scene and I reached over to touch Vicki and she was as wet as I had ever felt her. That led to some in depth conversations which led to the possibilities of adding another woman to the mix. As we all know, one thing leads to another and eventually we tried swinging. Actually our first full swap experience was a short time later and wasn’t what we would considered the greatest, so much so we actually ran away from the Lifestyle for some time. But we did learn a lot from that first experience, the most important of which was to take it at our own pace, no matter what, and our comfort zone was what truly mattered. We eventually decided to take another crack at swinging but at a slightly slower pace this time. From then on, it has been great. While we may have experienced a bump in the road, early on, we know we are where we want to be and are enjoying the Lifestyle together.

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle?

Friendship, hands down. We have to say we are lucky that we have an amazing group of very close friends. Many true friends that will be there for life is really an added bonus for us. They have helped us open up our club, Tabu. They’ve helped us in our personal lives. They all just seem to be there for each other and there when you need them. There really isn’t this same level of friendships outside of the Lifestyle. It may have been the sex that brought us to the lifestyle but it is the friendships that keep us here.

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle?

That’s a hard question. Being club owners we have seen the good, the bad and the ugly as it relates to the lifestyle. We have seen people at their best and at their worst. At the end of the day, we love the lifestyle and all that it has to offer. We have a great business, amazing friends and the opportunity to share these things with each other. What more could anyone ask for?

What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it?

Wow, having been in the Lifestyle for quite some time, we have “explored” many exotic places. I suppose if we have to pick one, it would be in Jamaica. We were staying at the Hedonism II resort and a group was having a beach party, not on the resort. We thought it sounded like fun so we went. It was primarily a group of Lifestylers but not exclusively. The food was great, there was live entertainment, the drinks were flowing and so were the juices. As we sat there getting more and more aroused, we just had to find somewhere to go and there it was, just down the beach, a long pier that just kind of disappeared into the night sky. We casually got up and just wandered off trying not to draw too much attention, we strolled down the beach, looking over our shoulders to see if anyone was watching, getting more and more excited with every step in the sand. We walked to the end of the pier, sure that the group could not see us although we could clearly see them. We were all over each other like 2 horny teenagers. When we were done, we slowly made our way back to the beach party absolutely convinced that we had just gotten away with something only to be greeted by a rousing round of applause by the entire group apparently they could see us after all.

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship?

I suppose, like most we were originally looking more for sexship than friendship. As time passed and we ventured more and more into the Lifestyle community we realized that we actually enjoyed hanging out more with our “Lifestyle” friends than our “Vanilla” friends. As more time passed, we don’t really have any “Vanilla” friends anymore. So I guess the answer is Friendship.

Any advice for others, or those new to the LifeStyle?

The best advice that we can give is to make sure that you and your partner (assuming you have one) are on the same page. Tread lightly and slowly, making sure that each of you are comfortable with everything that you are doing or contemplate doing. Be totally honest with one another as keeping secrets or telling lies is not, at all, what the lifestyle is about. After all, this should be about fun, new experiences and sharing them together. If you follow those simple guidelines, you will have some of the most amazing times of your life together.

Rick and Vicki
TABU Lifestyle Club
vicki@tabulife.com

Filed Under: Lifestyle Interviews, Swingers View Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle magazine, swing magazine, swingers, swingers magazine, swinging, swinging couples, the lifestyle

Make My Semen Tasty

August 20, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Dear LifeStyle Counselor,

I read the last issue on how to make semen taste better, my wife and I followed the guidelines and
we did not get the results we desired. I continually ate fruit and my semen tasted horrible as usual. We decided to go to the doctor as you mentioned in the last issue and low and behold I had a urinary tract infection, I quit with the fruits but I am wondering when I should start to take my fruits to make my semen taste better?

Signed,
Make My Semen Tasty

Dear Make My Semen Tasty,

I am glad you took my advice and went to the doctor, as I wrote if your semen has a foul smell or taste, after you take your fruits, it may be an infection. Remember men can get yeast infections, and urinary tract infections as well. As far as when you should eat your fruit, by all means continue the diet, don’t stop eating a fruit just because you have an infection,
in fact eating cranberries will help rid the urinary tract infection. So you see the more fruit you eat the better, remember what I said, “You are what you eat”.

Sincerely,
LC

Filed Under: Lifestyle Couples Questions Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle magazine, swing magazine, swingers magazine, swinging, swinging couples, the lifestyle

Lifestyle Interviews: Brian and Olga

July 1, 2011 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

How long in the LifeStyle?
4 years

What is your relationship?
Married 5 years

How did you get started?
After going to several titty bars and a few nude beaches, it became clear to us that we wanted more out of our sex lives than a bedroom dance. After many discussions we decided to try going to a swingers club just to see what it was REALLY all about. Our first club experience wasn’t that great, but it got us very excited none the less. After a few weeks, we decided to try another club and had an exhilarating experience. We didn’t “hook up” with anyone, we were simply scouting, but the experience was nothing short of amazing. We began attending regularly, and still do.

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle?
The openness, trust and honesty toward each other that the LifeStyle has added to our relationship.

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle?
Pushy people, that seem to think we ”owe” them something.

What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it?
Too many to choose from, but I’d have to say the most exciting was during a party at our house. We all decided to go for a naked walk on the golf course. We didn’t walk very far before the romance of the full moon overtook us all.

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship?
It depends, we’re always looking for new friends that we feel comfortable with and can do much more than just play. At the same time, it’s fun to meet new people, get
to know them a bit, and hit the sack for a one nighter, especially when you’re out of town.

Any advice for others, or those new to the LifeStyle?
Our advice is to take it slow, and communicate with each other. There is no reason to rush into anything, there is plenty of time and are plenty of hot couples out there.
We’ve seen many people get into the Lifestyle for the wrong reasons or simply jump in with both feet and drown. You need to be in a loving caring relationship before you start. The LifeStyle will not FIX a broken relationship, it can only enhance a good one.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Interviews Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle magazine, swing magazine, swingers, swingers magazine, swinging couples, the lifestyle, wife swap

Lifestyle Interviews: Lovers

July 1, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

How long in the LifeStyle?
6 years

What is your relationship?
Married 10 years

How did you get started?
After “sharing our thoughts” about this exciting way to expand our sexual horizon, we decided to take the first step by placing an ad in a swingers magazine. It took a while until we finally had our “first date.” Although there was no sexual interaction, we both felt inspired and our sex life became much more exciting. Eventually the right couple came along and we had our first “real experience.”

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle?
One of the best things about it is, that we became best friends. Being able to share our sexual thoughts and fantasies with each other and eventually fulfilling
them as well, is a wonderful thing. In those 6 years we’ve met lots of interesting people and developed relationships that go beyond swinging. That is definitely something, that we enjoy about the Lifestyle!

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle?
Occasionally, you come across some disrespectful people, who don’t understand what “NO” means. Well, that’s truly not enjoyable and can ruin a precious evening

What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it?
There have been quite a few, but for us it’s not the place, that makes the excitement, it’s the people we play with.

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship?
That depends… Lets say, you start off with a good “Sexship” (that’s why we’re all in the Lifestyle, right?), chances are, you find out that you have more things in common than just Sex and a friendship develops from there… well then the friendship is a big, precious bonus! So, in other words: Although friendship is certainly something precious and hard to find, we do not mind a good “Sexship” to start with.

Any advice for others, or those new the LifeStyle?
In the beginning it is important to set some rules. By doing this, you will avoid getting into situations where you’re not comfortable.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Interviews Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle magazine, swing magazine, swingers, swingers magazine, swinging couples, the lifestyle, wife swap

Confused Parents

June 30, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

We are nudists in our 60′s and have been swingers for 20 years. Our three kids are grown with kids of their own. We never spoke openly about swinging with our children, yet it has been a silly little secret in our nudist community for decades. Recently, a couple we have known for many years attended a swinger’s convention and ran into my youngest child and her husband. This is a very complex situation for us. do we say anything to our daughter? Do we disclose to them our Lifestyle? did we influence their choices? Should we give them advice? Please help.

Signed
Confused Parents

Dear Confused Parents,

This is a perfect example of the saying “No matter how old they get, they’re still my kids.” In addition, I honor the complexity of your situation.

First, you must ask yourself, “Has she always known that you were swingers?” The answer is probably “Yes.” It is difficult to keep secrets form children, particularly in smaller, closed communities. This conversation would require “intentional disclosure.” Intentional disclosure consists of a conversation akin to “coming out of the closet.” So you must decide if “intentional” disclosure is what you want and is it necessary?

Your next question is “Did you influence your daughter?” Well the answer is probably “Yes.” Parents influence their children in many ways. So do their friends, their community, their culture, and their personality. Most young adult children reject their parent’s lifestyle to assert their independence. Yet your daughter has found value in your choices by choosing them for herself. This may be a hidden compliment to the example you have set for her. your next question transcends all parental concerns “Should we give her advice?” My question is “Do you give her advice regularly and is she open to accepting it?” If so, you may wish to speak about subjects that focus on emotional and physical health, safety, and trust. These are always good subjects to discuss with the people you love and care about.

Good luck,
Dr. R. Lindsey

Filed Under: Lifestyle Couples Questions Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle swingers, swing magazine, swingers, swinging, swinging couples, wife swap

Watch Out For Low Flying Objects, A Trip to The Group Room

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Written by Cori
Used by few, but an attraction to many, the ubiquitous group room is where it’s happening at a swing club. Sometimes called “The Orgy Room,” “The Big Room” or “The Group Room” is the stuff that swinger’s dreams are made of.

It’s a common mistake that new couples think the group room is “off limits;” that it’s for seasoned couples only. At most clubs, as long as the couple goes in together and leaves together it’s not a problem. As a matter of fact, it’s welcome. How else are you going to learn? It’s the eye-candy of the lifestyle.

Most couple’s start out slowly, meeting a couple and then perhaps going to a private room so the 4 can explore without intrusion. It’s hard enough to maintain certain standards (or erections) with all eyes upon you unless you are a veteran, so suffice it to say, if you don’t want to worry about PAS, aka “Performance Anxiety Syndrome,” you’ll do just fine.

PAS is when couples have swapped mates, the guy happens to glance at the other guy, to make sure his wife is happy, and, for whatever reason, loses his erection.

It can be for a myriad of reasons, his wife is making noises he’s never heard before, or maybe the other guy’s cock is fucking huge! All of a sudden Willie is limp and the guy upstairs can’t get the guy downstairs to get over it!!!

In the group room, everything is magnified. It`s a hedonistic, sweaty experience when you’re ready for it. It’s one of the reasons we don’t have objections to couples watching. The fantasy “cum-true” makes for great lovemaking later when you’re home rehashing every erotic detail. We all know that sex is more in the mind than in the body, so all you need to do is whisper to your wife,” I’d like to see those 2 guys in the room last night doing you; one guy with his cock in your mouth, the other in your pussy and you hungrily taking it all.” GET IT??

How do you be BOLD enough to make merry in the group room in the first place? Knowing a few couples that you are comfortable with and suggesting that you go into the group room to play is one way. Another is strike out and just venture into the room and start playing with each other. You may position yourselves on a bed near or next to other couples. Swingers etiquette says if you want to get in on the action, just ask the other couple. You may get a yes or no, either way take it gracefully. Sometimes a more subtle approach is needed. You and the wife are playing on the bed and she is on her back and you are licking the velvet ice cream cone for all its worth. A hand reaches out and touches another body; soon, another connects until it’s one big daisy chain! It’s important to remember NOT to be offended if someone does make a gesture to play by touching an arm or leg. You can gracefully decline with a “no thank you,” but realize that being in a group situation already gives a green light for at least an initial contact.

Finally, being in a group grope can be hysterical fun! I will close with an experience that happened not long ago. There were 3 couples, all friends in the group room at our club. They all started playing and I mean balls to the wall, boobies all over, cocks flying in and out and all of them were TALKING!!! Talking about the weather, talking about work and every once in a while, talking about SEX! Can you imagine that??? One couple was 69-ing, another husband had the wife on her knees and another couple had another wife riding on top! One of the guys, known for his “outbursts” yelled he was cumming and came so hard he got everyone in the room, the walls and mirrors and even a face or two. Personally, I think Cameron Diaz had the right idea. It makes for a great hair spritzer!

Filed Under: Swingers View Tagged With: lifestyle magazine, orgy room, swing club, swing magazine, swingers, swingers club, swinging couples, wife swap

Confused In The Lifestyle

June 17, 2011 By lsmadmin 2 Comments

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

We have been in the lifestyle for going on eight years, and have found that a lot of people can’t be honest and have to be judgmental. they say they’re not Ken and Barbie and not looking for them, but when you meet them(if they show up) why do they act like they’re better than anyone else instead of just politely saying”were not interested?” It’s like if you’re not as good looking as them or better they won’t give you the time of day. The way we see the lifestyle is that it doesn’t matter what a person looks like, fun is fun.

Signed,
Confused in the Lifestyle

I share your disappointment with couples that lack “verbal correspondence.” This means that they talk-the-talk but don’t walk-the-walk. I believe that most people aspire to be tolerant, accepting, and kind. No one aspires to be superficial. We all strive to be better than that as our values tell us that character is more substantive than cosmetics. The reality is that looks do matter. there is an incredibly strong psycho-biological link between perceived physical attractiveness, arousal , and desire. Similarly, ones feelings toward age, race, gender, habits etc., influence the degree to which one couple may or may not choose to play with another.

To deal with this, one must examine one’s own expectations within the context of what is known about human nature. Being in the Lifestyle does not make one immune to the challenges of being human. People will be inconsistent. you can expect to be stood up, turned down, and snubbed. You must attempt to balance these experiences with the opportunity to meet new friends, develop exciting relationships, and finding other couples that talk-the-talk and walk-the-walk.

I encourage you to keep trying. There are many friendships to be made. the best are often difficult to find.

Sincerely

Dr. R. Lindsey

Filed Under: Lifestyle Couples Questions Tagged With: lifestyle couples, lifestyle magazine, swing magazine, swingers, swingers magazine, swinging couples, the lifestyle