Open Marriages

Just what exactly is the difference between an open marriage and swinging? At first it does appear on the surface that they represent the same thing; but delve deeper into the intricacies of both options and you will find that there are indeed distinctions with them which make a world of a difference to those involved.

In regards to the open marriage, it basically involves the married couple agreeing that they can be with other people in a sexual sense away from the marital bed. This takes away the idea of people having an affair and cheating on one another. They believe that their love and bond is strong enough and will not be damaged by either partner spending time with someone else.  They agree to them being allowed to have a relationship outside their marriage, but the other partner simply does not want to be included.

Swinging is different in that it generally involves two couples who swap partners for sex with it normally being in the presence of each other. This can also take the form of going to certain clubs where this takes place and there is no sense of building any kind of actual relationship other than it just being a way for them to have sex with others without there being any kind of emotions or feelings attached. It has to be said that an open marriage is often seen by many people as being a genre of swinging it’s just that the rules are slightly different as to what is allowed and the amount of time that they will spend with another person. In the open marriage, the person may go for dinner, go for walks or anything else like a normal relationship and up to including sexual involvement whereas swinging is purely sexual and virtually nothing else.

It is perhaps safe to say that neither option is classified as cheating as in most cases cheating requires a degree of trust to have been damaged whereas with both of these approaches everybody involved knows what is happening and indeed with whom. It is, therefore, important that there is complete honesty at all times for either option to really work and there has to be an understanding at all times that there is always a chance that something could go wrong and problems may indeed occur in the marriage or relationship. This is a chance that people are willing to take and any potential discomfort about what is going on must be discussed immediately and both people are in agreement about whatever is going on.

Those are the key differences between an open marriage and a couple who are swingers. The one thing that does come across is a clear understanding and a great degree of trust between the couple in order for either of these things to occur. If either interest you, then do make sure you talk it over with your partner and really look into it as much as possible because even though it undoubtedly works for some it can often lead to all kinds of problems for others.

“Freedom of the Seas” Lifestyle Cruise Review

After two years and much anticipation, the biggest couples only lifestyle cruise to date finally concluded on 11/18/2012. Royal Caribbean played host to 1,800+ couples, many of whom descended upon the Orlando Airport Marriott Hotel for the smashing precruise party Saturday night and then on to Port Canaveral Sunday morning for embarkation and departure to St. Thomas, St Marten and Coco Cay.

There were volumes of naked couples partying on the pool decks, the dungeon, the ‘hall pass’ room and the 7,000 sq.ft. well decorated “play” room; as well as the many private parties that went on in cabins and suites. The ship itself was outstanding, with more “swinger” and regular entertainment than one could possibly cover during a one week adventure. The daily pool parties rocked to the tunes of house DJs Moe Green and Mark Maze. The Karaoke bar was packed every night as was the Crypt Night Club. The theater shows were awesome with comedy acts like Tracy, the “Dominatrix of Ditties” who had side splitting jokes about “life as a swinger”. They covered the skating rink with ice each night to create a monster size disco dance floor that fit more than 500 people who danced the night away. Food and drinks were nonstop and the many restaurants, specialty food shops and snack bars served with lightning speed.

Thousands of guests came from all over the world to take part in this lifestyle party at sea; there was no shortage of variations in people’s personal preferences.  There were all out “full swap” swingers, soft swappers, girl/girl players, dungeon goers, fetish folks, nudists, voyeurs, curiosity seekers and just plain old vanilla couples that love being around the openness of the lifestyle community.

Visit SLS/Topless Travel or call  at 877-90-SWING for upcoming cruise schedules.   These lifestyle cruises just keep getting better each time and always sell out far in advance. If you’d like to experience one of these wild parties at sea, Visit SLS/Topless Travel or please call  at 877-90-SWING, they are the largest seller of cabins on these ships and their attention to detail and service to their clients is impeccable.

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

By Dr. Jess (Dr. Jessica O’Reilly) from Sex with Dr. Jess

Keeping the flames of passion and lust burning in a long-term relationship is a challenge for the best of us, so check out these techniques to reignite the spark and enjoy a lifetime of steamy sex.

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

For Her

1.  Seduce Her With Your Words

Sex begins (and ends) in the brain, so get into her head with some saucy compliments that highlight all five senses of your desire. Save the “Pretty dress!” and “You look nice!” for your mom and offer sensual compliments that highlight your animalistic attraction to her:

You smell so sweet.
You taste like heaven.
I love the sound of your laugh.
You look smokin’ hot. I want to tear your clothes off right
here, right now!
I crave the feeling of your soft skin against mine.

 

2.  S-L-O-W Sex

A quickie in the broom closet makes for a great story, but sometimes slowing down can work wonders for your sex life. The next time you initiate sex, try to avoid touching her most sensitive (and predictable) spots for at least ten minutes.  Trace the tips of your fingers, the underside of your tongue and your gentle breath over her entire body avoiding her breasts and the space between her thighs. You’ll leave her body craving more of what you’ve got to offer!

3.  New Positions

If you want to pique her interest, you have to keep her guessing and change things up once in a while. Forget your tried and true go-to moves and experiment with new positions designed for her pleasure. Many women orgasm from grinding and rubbing on the outside – not from thrusting in and out. Try throwing her on her stomach and letting her grind against a vibrating toy as you thrust from behind or try the Happy Sardines position:

You lie on your back and she lies on top of you also on her back.
You slide between her legs and she squeezes her thighs together to create extra friction and rubbing.
As you slide in and out, she squeezes her PC muscles and you reach around to cup the top of her vulva and rub in rhythm with her pelvic movements.

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

 

4.  Plan a Sex-Vacation

Sightseeing, foodie tours and family visits may make for great Facebook albums, but they’re not always good for your sex life. Take advantage of vacation sex by setting aside a few days with no fixed plans. Head to your local sex store and pick out some indulgent outfits, videos and toys before locking yourself in the hotel room to explore your wildest fantasies.

5.  Lingerie in the Shower

The old poke-her-from-behind technique may work after an evening of romance, but if you get creative in your seduction techniques, you’re sure to increase your batting average. Slip into the bathroom while she is in the shower and hang some new lingerie on the door with a handwritten note: Can’t wait to see your beautiful body in this! And since (almost) no woman can resist the temptation of shoes, add a new pair to her collection if you’re feeling particularly generous.

 

For Him

6.  Pearl Necklace

No time to go lingerie shopping between professional and personal commitments?  No problem! Lower the lights and surprise him in the bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of heels and a long strand of pearls.  Sit on his lap and remove your pearls before covering them in your favorite lube. Sensually wrap them around his shaft, drape them beneath his balls and suck them into your mouth as you seamlessly integrate jewelry into your oral sex repertoire.

Bonus: slide your lubed-up pearls inside of you and let him gently pull them out before using them as a blow job prop.

 

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover7. Stroke His Ego

Get a little raunchy in bed by brushing up on your dirty talk.  Focus on sexy compliments that stroke his second most sensitive body part: his ego.

You’re the best I’ve ever had.
You’re so good. I’d pay for this!
Your so big that it hurts.
I’m coming!
I’ve been thinking about your cock all day long.
Other women must crave your big, fat cock.

8.  Take it Outside!

Sex in the bedroom may be warm and comfy, but small changes in location can pack a big impact and generate memories that will last a lifetime. Create a monthly sex challenge and show some love to every room in your house including the laundry room and the garage. Sitting atop the dryer adds vibrations to your sex life and getting naked in the car can be a huge turn-on as your mind wanders back to your younger years…

9.  Morning Blow Job

Those three magic words can take your sex life to new heights and leave him dreaming of nothing but you, you, YOU!  Wake him up with some soft breath over his thighs and slowly work his member into your mouth to remind him just how lucky he is.

10.  Erotic Massage

Create an at home rub-n-tug complete with candles, massage oil and a ready and willing attendant who is eager to please. Blindfold him and offer a sensual massage with all the trimmings and remember to ask him for directions:

Rub his cock between your oiled-up breasts
Slide your slippery body over his most sensitive parts
Tease his erogenous zones with your breath
Use two hands to grip and stroke him from base to tip
Press your fingers into his perineum to stroke the inner bulb of his penis
Remove the blindfold as you finish him off with rhythmic strokes and a fluid twisting motion over his coronal ridge (the swollen part at the base of his head)

The Cuckold

Couples Question - The Cuckold Dear LifeStyle Counselor,

My wife and I have had a fetish for quite some time and we feel weird about our fetish. We both want to be cuckolded by an alpha male, how normal is this?

Signed The Cuckold

 

Dear Cuckold,

What you are explaining is nothing new, nor is it abnormal; several people are now embracing the cuckold concept within the lifestyle. The lifestyle has many fetishes, over the past few years the cuckold fetish has escalated and many couples are embracing this type of play. Couples on swinger websites are looking for partners to swap, but do you ever see couples looking for single men? The couples that look for single men are interested in a man to have sex with the wife while the husband joins or watches. Some are bisexual and looking for play; some others, believe it or not, advertise that they are looking to be cuckolded. Remember everyone has their own fetish and it is best to embrace it, as long as no one gets hurt and it is perfectly safe.

Sincerely,
LC

Welcome to the Wonderful World of the Swinging LifeStyle

By Little Allen General Manager of Trapeze

Welcome to the Wonderful World of the Swinging LifestyleSo you’ve finally decided to take the plunge! You have thought about swinging for weeks, months, maybe even years. You have fantasized about being with someone other than your significant other… and now, “The moment of truth has at last arrived.” Entering a swingers club like Trapeze is one of the most exciting experiences you can have as a couple.

Here are some helpful pointers that hopefully will assist a new couple to successfully embark on their maiden journey into swinging.

First and foremost good communication skills are a must between couples. Both partners must be able to communicate to one another their wants, needs and desires as it relates to swinging.  Setting boundaries is a must in order to eliminate problems that might arise between the new couple. Know your partner… remember, you guys are in this together to explore and enjoy. Take it slow and abide by the rules you have set for each other.

How you handle situations is key to your enjoyment in the swinging lifestyle. There may be occasions where you might meet up with another couple and for whatever reason, the chemistry just isn’t there. It is important to be able to get out of the situation gracefully without offending the other couple. One good piece of advice is to have code words such as, “Honey, did you remember to call the baby sitter”? Come up with creative words or phrases that alert your partner that you are not comfortable in that particular situation.

Two words that will wreak havoc in your relationship are “Jealousy & Love”. These are two emotions that you definitely want to avoid. Falling in love with someone other than your significant other or becoming jealous of the relationship your partner has created with someone else can be hazardous to your success in the Alternative Lifestyle. That is why it is so important for good communication to take place prior to encounters and after. Share with your partner the positive and the negative along with things that you might want to try in the future. Experimentation can be fun because it can enhance pleasurable experiences between both of you as well as others.

It is also important to know the rules of the club or venue that you visit. Of course the most important rule of any swingers club is “No Means No”. It is certainly not appropriate to think that you could go up to anyone and touch them without permission just as you would not want anyone to be aggressive with you or your partner without your consent. Go with the flow. Relax and enjoy!

Perhaps being amongst open minded people in an uninhibited setting such as a swingers club is the biggest social change you may encounter in your lives. The joy of expressing yourselves both verbally and physically with like minded people is what makes the alternative Lifestyle so fascinating and exciting. Remember, stick to the rules you both establish and stay the course.

Happy Swinging!

Get in Shape in a Sexy Way

Swingers View - Get in Shape in a Sexy Way

By Mrs. Webmaster  / SwingLifestyle.com

Participation in any fitness regimen should improve your physical appearance, your muscle strength, your general health, and your potential longevity.

Pole dancing for fitness is a sport that is based on the equipment and moves developed by dancers in strip clubs and acrobats in circuses. In recent years it has become much more than just adult entertainment; pole dance for fitness has exploded onto the scene of alternative fitness! Many women that participate in this sport neither intended nor desire to work in the sex industry.

Pole dancing will make you firm, toned and you will see results much faster than with a traditional weight/resistance program and many other types of traditional workouts.

One of the most enticing factors in pole dancing for fitness is that although one will see quite a lot of fit strong bodies among pole dancers, those who are seriously into the sport tend to develop lithe, willowy, toned, and flexible physiques that are more “cut”, toned and less massively built. This is because from the start, pole dancers throw their body weight up, down, and around while holding
on with their ankles, backs of knees and often even one handed. The weight that they are throwing around is further unbalanced by momentum, torque and spin which works the muscles completely and throughout their range of motion in order to develop the condition of the muscles or limbs as a whole rather than concentrating on lifting dumb weight in a specific way to affect certain muscles and/or muscle groups. Pole dancing is also a great cardio workout and therefore benefits your weight management goals while keeping the heart and lungs healthy.

The following is a list of the 5 major general benefits to participating in this fun and empowering activity:
- Improves physical strength throughout your body in both your core and skeletal muscles.
- Can build firm and toned muscles in a fairly short period of time. It will not take long before you begin to see results. The best part is that this firming and toning of the muscles focuses on those “problem areas” for women.
- Improved balance and agility as well as increased flexibility and core strength.
- Pole dancing is a physically challenging activity which will use every muscle and muscle group in your body while intensively targeting specific muscles throughout their range of motion; this will build properly proportioned lean muscle and allow you to bare your weight on the pole for longer and longer periods of time.
- All of the tricks, spins and holds are versatile and can be adapted to any person regardless of height or body type. There are moves and tricks for any fitness level and ability and as your strength and skills develop so will the range of tricks and elaborations that can be added to your repertoire.

Swingers Views - Get in Shape in a Sexy Way Another of the intriguing things about pole dance for fitness which attracts so many women is the numerous ways and various places that this sport can be pursued.

There are a wealth of videos on video sharing websites showing that women have installed poles in their entryways, in front of their TV, in the living room or den, in the corners of bed rooms, dining rooms, in their kitchens, their garage, in a storage locker and even outside on the porch .You can install a pole on tile floors, carpeting, Pergo, hardwood floors, concrete, stages, plywood, tile or any other type of floor covering commonly found in the home.

As with any sport or strenuous physical activity, it is recommended that you either receive formal training by enrolling in a class at a local studio or e-class online. You can even learn via a one on one session with another dancer. It is important that when you start you allow someone to guide you through the basics of pole dancing so that you learn the tricks of creating momentum to spin up or down the pole in various positions while using your body weight as a counterbalance and the pole as your fulcrum. After you have learned the basics it is completely up to you how you want to continue to learn but there are numerous methods, venues and places where you can get instruction on pole fitness. You can also use videos or books such as the Pole Dancing for Dummies book.

In the end you will find yourself loving the way that pole dancing strengthens and shapes your body. If you are trying to lose weight or aiming for better muscle tone and body conditioning, this one piece of fitness equipment may be the solution that you are looking for. There is no need to purchase any other equipment and if you install a removable pole at home, once you have learned the routines you can surprise your boyfriend or significant other. Challenge yourself; there are numerous ways to keep the activity new and fresh so that you don’t grow bored with your fitness regimen. As your confidence and sense of innate femininity grow, your body will melt away the layers of fat in all of the zones and places that women normally refer to as “problem areas”. Your new toned, fit, and strong appearance will amaze your friends and significant other, but most importantly it will impress you!

The most important thing to remember about pole dancing is to loosen up and have fun!

Restaurant Date

Couples Questions - Restaurant DateDear Lifestyle Counselor,

When being seated at the restaurant, should a man walk ahead of or behind the women? When is the appropriate time to lead versus follow?
Signed Restaurant date

 

Dear Restaurant Date,

It is common courtesy to walk in front of her, so when you arrive at the table, you may extend her chair as a caring act. Now, if you and your wife are on a date with another couple, again you may walk with the other gentleman and allow the wives to follow behind together, and as a kind gesture pull their chairs out for them.

Sincerely,
LC

Keeping Things Fair

From the book “The Swingers Manual”Keeping Things Fair

It is important to note that while at times you may feel comfortable receiving more than you are ready to give, you should not do so. By allowing someone else to do something to you, that you are not ready to return, you may mislead them into thinking that you are ready for more. Think of it as being fair to everyone. You really wouldn’t want someone to say to you “well, you can do this to me but I’m not going to reciprocate,” so why would you do that to them? Try to avoid setting up expectations that you can’t deliver on.

Let’s look at this example. Jack & Diane’s interest in swinging stems from their desire for her to live out her bisexual fantasies. Diane has no interest in touching or being touched by another man, however Jack is open to whatever Diane will allow. They meet up with

Sara & Stan who are open to pretty much anything, including full swap, but agree to give Jack & Diane a try. Over the next few months they get together on several occasions during which Jack is allowed to touch and fondle both women, but Stan is only allowed to touch his own wife. During one of their play sessions Sara gives Jack a blowjob.  Seeing this leaves Stan feeling rather left out. If Jack can get a blowjob from Sara, why can’t Stan even touch Diane? Eventually Sara & Stan call it quits with Jack & Diane because Stan can no longer accept the double standard he is being forced to live with. By allowing Sara to give him a blowjob, Jack & Diane mislead Stan and Sara to believe that they were both ready for more. Even though Jack and Diane are both ok with what happened, they would have been better to restrict the play to girls only until or unless Diane was also willing to give the same interaction to another guy that she was ok with Jack receiving. It would also have behooved Stan to speak up earlier and state his displeasure with the direction things were taking. Perhaps, had he done so, things might have changed to better everyone’s enjoyment instead of having to come to a complete halt.

Keep in mind that just as you have the option to set your own boundaries, other couples have the option to not play with you because your boundaries are too restrictive for them. While some couples will be willing to play with you regardless of your boundaries and will be happy to stay within your boundaries they may not be happy to continue to do so for very long, just as we saw with Stan and Sara.

________________

As the owner and hostess of the Swingers Board, I’ve spent the last 12 years giving and reading advice to swingers, both new and old. There are some truths that ring over and over again, and some issues that vary so much that only you will ever know the right answer for you.

“The Swinger Manual” is about helping you determine your answers, and helping to clarify some of the questions you already have and will have along the way.

Order your copy today at www.swingermanual.com

Letters from our Readers

Hello LifeStyleMagazine,

We have been subscribers since your first issue of LifeStyle Magazine in 2004. We were delighted to receive the Winter and Spring 2012 issues and we are happy to see the magazine for and by swingers continue to publish.

To our knowledge, this magazine is the only magazine in North America that caters to swinger Lifestyle couples like us. We have been swinging as a couple for quite some time and we truly enjoy reading the articles on swinging that included The History of Swinging, Top Ten Reasons to be a Swinger, Soft Swinging, Swinging Etiquette and other topics that benefit newbie couples as well as seasoned swingers that partake in sexual activities up to and including intercourse with the mate of another couple for full swap and total enjoyment of all sexual pleasures.

We have been reading every issue of the magazine from cover to cover. After we are done reading we put the magazine on the coffee table or another visible spot in our home for when we socialize with other couples. We invariably get the couples leafing through the magazine and asking questions related to swinging. We let the couple borrow the issue for the husband’s/wife’s reading pleasure in the privacy of their bedroom. The magazine is a great help in dispelling prevalent misconceptions about couples swinging, socializing and swapping mates for sexual pleasures that may include intercourse with each others mate. Your magazine helps couples who are ambivalent about swinging take the leap and join the swing community.

Keep up the good work.

Sahaja Couple

Milf Boy

Couples Questions - Milf BoyDear LifeStyle Counselor,
I have been seeing a woman twice my age 22(43).  She is gorgeous and our sex life is wonderful, but nobody approves. Should I break up with her?
Signed Milf Boy

Dear Milf boy,
You should not break up with someone because of what other people think. It sounds like you may be obsessed with what other people think? If you both enjoy each others company and get along, there is nothing wrong with it. Hollywood is actually embracing the cougar phenomenon and more and more couples have an age gap. Ever hear the expression “love is blind”? This could not be more true, if it makes you and your woman feel good it can’t be bad.

Sincerely,
LC