10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

May 3, 2013 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

By Dr. Jess (Dr. Jessica O’Reilly) from Sex with Dr. Jess

Keeping the flames of passion and lust burning in a long-term relationship is a challenge for the best of us, so check out these techniques to reignite the spark and enjoy a lifetime of steamy sex.

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

For Her

1.  Seduce Her With Your Words

Sex begins (and ends) in the brain, so get into her head with some saucy compliments that highlight all five senses of your desire. Save the “Pretty dress!” and “You look nice!” for your mom and offer sensual compliments that highlight your animalistic attraction to her:

You smell so sweet.
You taste like heaven.
I love the sound of your laugh.
You look smokin’ hot. I want to tear your clothes off right
here, right now!
I crave the feeling of your soft skin against mine.

 

2.  S-L-O-W Sex

A quickie in the broom closet makes for a great story, but sometimes slowing down can work wonders for your sex life. The next time you initiate sex, try to avoid touching her most sensitive (and predictable) spots for at least ten minutes.  Trace the tips of your fingers, the underside of your tongue and your gentle breath over her entire body avoiding her breasts and the space between her thighs. You’ll leave her body craving more of what you’ve got to offer!

3.  New Positions

If you want to pique her interest, you have to keep her guessing and change things up once in a while. Forget your tried and true go-to moves and experiment with new positions designed for her pleasure. Many women orgasm from grinding and rubbing on the outside – not from thrusting in and out. Try throwing her on her stomach and letting her grind against a vibrating toy as you thrust from behind or try the Happy Sardines position:

You lie on your back and she lies on top of you also on her back.
You slide between her legs and she squeezes her thighs together to create extra friction and rubbing.
As you slide in and out, she squeezes her PC muscles and you reach around to cup the top of her vulva and rub in rhythm with her pelvic movements.

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover

 

4.  Plan a Sex-Vacation

Sightseeing, foodie tours and family visits may make for great Facebook albums, but they’re not always good for your sex life. Take advantage of vacation sex by setting aside a few days with no fixed plans. Head to your local sex store and pick out some indulgent outfits, videos and toys before locking yourself in the hotel room to explore your wildest fantasies.

5.  Lingerie in the Shower

The old poke-her-from-behind technique may work after an evening of romance, but if you get creative in your seduction techniques, you’re sure to increase your batting average. Slip into the bathroom while she is in the shower and hang some new lingerie on the door with a handwritten note: Can’t wait to see your beautiful body in this! And since (almost) no woman can resist the temptation of shoes, add a new pair to her collection if you’re feeling particularly generous.

 

For Him

6.  Pearl Necklace

No time to go lingerie shopping between professional and personal commitments?  No problem! Lower the lights and surprise him in the bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of heels and a long strand of pearls.  Sit on his lap and remove your pearls before covering them in your favorite lube. Sensually wrap them around his shaft, drape them beneath his balls and suck them into your mouth as you seamlessly integrate jewelry into your oral sex repertoire.

Bonus: slide your lubed-up pearls inside of you and let him gently pull them out before using them as a blow job prop.

 

10 Ways To Surprise Your Lover7. Stroke His Ego

Get a little raunchy in bed by brushing up on your dirty talk.  Focus on sexy compliments that stroke his second most sensitive body part: his ego.

You’re the best I’ve ever had.
You’re so good. I’d pay for this!
Your so big that it hurts.
I’m coming!
I’ve been thinking about your cock all day long.
Other women must crave your big, fat cock.

8.  Take it Outside!

Sex in the bedroom may be warm and comfy, but small changes in location can pack a big impact and generate memories that will last a lifetime. Create a monthly sex challenge and show some love to every room in your house including the laundry room and the garage. Sitting atop the dryer adds vibrations to your sex life and getting naked in the car can be a huge turn-on as your mind wanders back to your younger years…

9.  Morning Blow Job

Those three magic words can take your sex life to new heights and leave him dreaming of nothing but you, you, YOU!  Wake him up with some soft breath over his thighs and slowly work his member into your mouth to remind him just how lucky he is.

10.  Erotic Massage

Create an at home rub-n-tug complete with candles, massage oil and a ready and willing attendant who is eager to please. Blindfold him and offer a sensual massage with all the trimmings and remember to ask him for directions:

Rub his cock between your oiled-up breasts
Slide your slippery body over his most sensitive parts
Tease his erogenous zones with your breath
Use two hands to grip and stroke him from base to tip
Press your fingers into his perineum to stroke the inner bulb of his penis
Remove the blindfold as you finish him off with rhythmic strokes and a fluid twisting motion over his coronal ridge (the swollen part at the base of his head)

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Milf Boy

December 6, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Couples Questions - Milf BoyDear LifeStyle Counselor,
I have been seeing a woman twice my age 22(43).  She is gorgeous and our sex life is wonderful, but nobody approves. Should I break up with her?
Signed Milf Boy

Dear Milf boy,
You should not break up with someone because of what other people think. It sounds like you may be obsessed with what other people think? If you both enjoy each others company and get along, there is nothing wrong with it. Hollywood is actually embracing the cougar phenomenon and more and more couples have an age gap. Ever hear the expression “love is blind”? This could not be more true, if it makes you and your woman feel good it can’t be bad.

Sincerely,
LC

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Orgasm Lady

August 20, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Dear LifeStyle Counselor,

Couples Question - Orgasm LadyI have been to several swinger clubs and participated in gang bangs. I have a concern, which is, I orgasm fairly quickly during masturbation and oral sex. My hang up is that I have never been able to climax during penetration, is this normal? Is this a physical or mental thing?

Signed,
Orgasm Lady

Dear Orgasm Lady,

You are not alone so don’t think anything of it. I have researched that 70% of women who orgasm certain ways have difficulties achieving orgasm another way. What it boils down to is that women need the right type of stimulation of her clitoral region in order to achieve a full orgasm.  It can be a mental thing as well. Some women only achieve orgasm through anal sex. Your husband may be using the right type of pressure and stimulation you need during oral sex that his penis can not give you during penetrative sex.  Some women also only climax through g-spot stimulation. I would recommend your husband use his hand to stimulate your clitoral region during sex, or you can do this yourself. Many women massage their clitoris during penetrative sex, and it helps them climax.

Sincerely,
LC

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Swingers Lifestyle Cruise on the Royal Caribbean

February 29, 2012 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Swingers Cruise - Royal Caribbean's Jewel of the SeasSwinging couples from all over will experience the swinger vacation of a lifetime!  This spectacular 6 day – 5 nights, clothing optional, couples only cruise will set sail on January 28 – February 2, 2013.  Lifestyle couples will take over Royal Caribbean’s Jewel of the Seas, to engage in great entertainment featuring erotic theme nights, pool parties, sexual workshops, adult games and meet and greet with over 2000+ lifestyle couples.

Royal Caribbean’s Jewel of the Seas will set sail from Tampa, FL,  on January 28, 2013, stop off in George Town – Grand Cayman and Playa Del Carmen – Mexico and return to Tampa, FL on February 2, 2013.  The Jewel of the Seas ship is one of the newest cruise ships in their fleet that has a capacity of over 2500.  The ship host great features such as, rock climbing, exquisite restaurants, bars, lounges, golf simulators, day spa, fitness center, casinos, solarium and much more.  View ship details or choose a deck or cabin for yourself.

Reserve Now, as room are selling out fast!  Prices start at $825 per person for your basic cabins, see site for pricing details.  Don’t miss out on this super sexy swinging adventure that you and your significant other will not forget.  Since this is in the Caribbean fun in the sun don’t forget to bring your birthday suit and sport it!

**A SINGLE MALE OR FEMALE SHALL BE ALLOWED ON THE SHIP IN A CABIN, SHOULD THEY BE ACCOMPANIED BY A COUPLE AND STAYING IN THEIR CABIN. **

Call 877-90-SWING for more details!

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International Swingers Day: A Lifestyle Holiday

October 20, 2011 By lsmadmin Leave a Comment

Caliente Caribe - Inaternational Swingers DayInternational Swingers Day started back in 2003 by a local group of swingers who decided to honor the lifestyle with a swinger party.  It continued as an annual event, with local swingers club across the US joining in the celebrations.  International Clubs soon took notice and started hosting parties celebrating the swinging community.  The holiday became a worldwide event that later evolved into a swingers celebration and lifestyle convention.  The next International Swingers Day will be celebrated on August 11, 2012.

Couples may join ISD and other industry leaders for an International Swingers day celebration and lifestyle convention from August 8 – 12, 2012. This event will take place at the Caliente Caribe Resort in the Dominican Republic.  This is a great chance to connect with others in the lifestyle as you enjoy great food, entertainment and workshops hosted by industry leaders.   Caliente Caribe is a clothing optional resort in the middle of the Caribbean with a beautiful natural setting.  You will feel like you just stepped into a postcard.

International Swingers DaySwinging couples from around the globe will enjoy morning yoga, pole dancing lessons, belly dancing lessons, exotic games, orgies, themed and poolside parties.  That’s just some on the events in store; check the schedule for more fun and entertainment not to be missed.  They will host a Tantra Sex, Sensual Massages and/or Orgasmic Pleasures workshops, among others.  Explore the tropical island or do some light shopping, whatever you do, you will experience a vacation of a lifetime.

Rates start as low as $1,299, room are filling up fast, so book your room today!   It’s a romantic vacation for you and your significant other.

 

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Fabulous Firsts…..A Tale of Tricks & Treats

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

Written by David Lawrence
Newbies Guide to Swinging-Fabulous Firsts“We were dating for eight months when it came time for Halloween,” says Andrea. “Mike and I decided that we’d throw a party for couples only, all good friends but none in the LifeStyle. At least none we knew about. As added entertainment, we thought it would be a fun surprise to invite an exotic dancer who would show up at midnight and do her thing for the crowd. Well, she sure showed – and she sure did her thing.”

Here’s how it all went down… The guests arrived about 8 pm in a perfectly predictable Halloween assortment of costumed couples: there was a swashbuckling pirate and his damsel, a wildly silly cross-dressing duo, a pair of political spoofers, two grotesque monsters, and a couple of Q-tips with Andrea and Mike, humorously wardrobed as circus clowns. “Things were totally normal,” Mike says, “We were having an enjoyable time. The food was great. People were telling stories about past Halloweens they recalled as kids. We were dancing a bit, but nothing very alluring. “However, when the doorbell rang at midnight, the party really began. The most sexy witch imaginable swept into the room, humping her broom!”

Bewitched on the Wild Side

“She really was a `bewitching’ beauty,” says Andrea. “She had a lacey black dress on; it was long but had slits up both legs. She had a cape over that, a wide black hat, and long black gloves. She carried a glowing jack-o-lantern with a fearsome face carved out. Her makeup wasn’t horrific, though. Instead, it was expertly applied for what would be an otherwise elegant evening. And her blond hair was thick and long, and contrasted gorgeously with the rest of her outfit. I couldn’t help but get caught up by her looks… costume and occasion aside.” The guests didn’t know what to make of the witch’s appearance at first. Some figured she was a late-arriving invitee. Some thought an over-grown trick or treater. Some just figured she was lost. No one expected what followed, even Andrea and Mike.

The wondrous witch began to dance to the pre-arranged music she provided a week earlier as part of a pre-party meeting with the hosts. Amidst the circle of guests in the living room, as Andrea and Mike requested, she danced and bumped and ground away by herself, enjoying her own gyrations. “No doubt, the immediate reaction was shock,” Mike says. “But shock, combined with the effects of a few hours of alcohol, probably kept people from walking out of the room. “We had agreed our witch would only invite Mike up to dance with her,” Andrea recalls. “That was the arrangement and we’d see where things went from there.” And so that’s what happened. At first.

“I couldn’t believe how turned on I got seeing her dance with my boyfriend,” Andrea says. “I wasn’t even registering others’ reactions as she began to take off her clothing and also started to strip Mike. I was just lost in my own erotic sensations, being a voyeur to what was turning into a live sex show. Then I joined in.”

As Andrea and Mike report, their threesome frolicked and fondled to the music, partially undressed, while everyone sat glued, in full costume. After a few dances, the wondrous witch turned to the others and invited everyone to join in. And most did, surprisingly, though one couple did exit quietly. The beat went on. The group’s gyrations intensified, and pirates’ pants melded with monsters’ masks in corners of the room. “Our guests became very un-costumed,” Andrea laughs. “But not unhinged.”

Mike says that it was his turn to be shocked as the witch and the women played on the dance floor, hugging each other, rubbing breasts, kissing. The men mostly watched while trying to join in the dancing. But after a while, the women became irresistible and the guys, cautiously, even “gentlemanly,” as Mike puts it, put their hands in, feeling their own partners, initially, but then getting bolder and reaching out for other women.

The music continued, the witch heated things up by moving among the dancers, men and women. The action got wilder. “It didn’t become quite a full-blast orgy,” Mike says, “But we had some kind of very hot sexual scene going on, with varying degrees of heat.”

As one of the guys later said, “I was in my own soft porn world; just exhilarated by how free I felt.” “The crowd got really turned on, more than we could have imagined,” Andrea says, “We had our own little lifestyle group.” And the festivities lasted until dawn.

As for the aftermath, Mike and Andrea think that, for most of the couples, their Halloween trick and treat was a one-time burst of uninhibited bliss. But for one other couple and themselves, their impromptu and largely unintended introduction into swinging has continued ever since.

“Mike and I talked for weeks afterwards, as a couple, and also with some of the others from our party,” she says. “I’m most happy to say we’ve stayed friends with everyone. No one got upset, even the couple who left early. They figured how things might evolve and just decided it wasn’t for them. In fact, they were curious about what actually occurred, and we told them over dinner with lots of laughs.”

“I think the best result,” Mike summarizes, “is that Andrea and I really explored our feelings, actions, and reactions to the party. We both admitted how much we enjoyed it. And we soon took up our more serious efforts to enjoy the fun side of the LifeStyle on a regular basis.”

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Swinging and STDs

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin 2 Comments

Written by Dr. Ziggy
Swingers View-Swinging and Safe SexMuch attention has been to AIDS and HIV in the general public. This attention has often exaggerated the dangers from multiple heterosexual partners and specifically exaggerated the dangers from the swinging LifeStyle.

We in the swinging community have correctly challenged the claim of high AIDS risk from unprotected heterosexual sex. However, we have probably erred by implying that swinging and sexual play with multiple partners is risk free. Intimate contact with others frequently spreads germs. There are disease risks in swinging. There are also strategies to reduce the risks. The highest disease risks (all of which we have seen at our couples’ massage events) are the following:

There are strategies to prevent infections and reduce risks. These strategies still allow couples to enjoy erotic pleasure with others. We have listed three categories of strategies and we have named them “minimal, moderate & highest.” Each strategy provides a different level of protection. The “highest” strategy provides the most protection. Strategies can be mixed or matched depending on comfort levels.

Minimal Prevention Strategies

1. Check your genitals, labia, penis and anus for cuts, sores or open wounds. Check your mouth, lips and tongue for sores. Do not participate in sexual play involving direct skin contact with open sores. Do not participate in sexual play when you have cold or flu symptoms.

2. Check your spouse and sexual partners for sores. Do not participate in sexual play with a partner where there is direct skin contact with open sores.

3. Wash your hands and urinate after sexual play. Use this strategy before playing with a different or new partner. Drink plenty of water. There is evidence that urinating after sexual play reduces the risk of UTI.

4. Use lubricants particularly when playing with multiple partners. Avoid frequent hard or rough play. Both of these methods will reduce the risks of abrasions.

Moderate Prevention Strategies

1. Use male or female condoms with intercourse.

2. Limit intercourse and/or oral sex to one set of multiple partners per day.

Highest Prevention Strategies

1. Use latex shields when having oral sex.

2. Avoid intercourse and/or oral sex with multiple partners.

3. Use erotic massage as a substitute for oral sex or intercourse with multiple partners.

4. Use same room sex with your monogamous partner, watching and being watched, as a substitute for oral sex or intercourse with multiple partners.

Choosing A Strategy That is Comfortable for You and Your Partner

Swingers View-Swinging and STDsIn all aspects of living there are risks. There are risks in driving your car to work. There is virtually no activity, particularly recreational activity, that is risk free. There are risks in downhill skiing, swimming in the ocean, playing golf and hiking in the woods. There are also great pleasures and great enjoyment gained from recreational activities. It is sensible that we evaluate recreational sex in the same way we evaluate other pleasurable activities. We cannot expect it to be risk free. However, we can minimize the risks. From our experience in the LifeStyle, here are the factors that allow us to take greater risks:

  • We can take greater risks when we have more information about our new sexual partners.
  • We can take greater risks if we believe our new sexual partners can be long-term supportive friends.
  • We can take greater risks when we as a couple have talked about it and are taking the risk jointly.
  • We can take greater risks if we are gaining greater enjoyment.
  • We can take greater risks when we accept the possible need for medication or other treatment, just as one accepts the possible need for sunburn medication when vacationing at the beach.
  • We can accept greater risks when we know we also have the option of accepting lower risks if we are uncomfortable. We are not locked into only the two options of monogamous sex and unprotected intercourse. We can develop a full menu of erotic pleasuring options depending on our sense of safety.

Genital Herpes

Of the four highest risk infections, Genital Herpes raises the most fears and concerns. This is not because it is more dangerous. In fact, a severe bronchial infection or flu infection is harder to treat and will likely result in more severe symptoms. Genital Herpes, however, raises more fears because it is contracted only through sexual play and therefore is more embarrassing.

Herpes type 2, or genital herpes, is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). It is transmitted sexually, and typically causes blisters on the male and female genitals that rupture into painful red sores. Most people who have herpes find that it recurs. While there are effective treatments, there is no cure.

This article was printed with permission from DrZiggy. The article is based on a presentation made by a professional couple in the health care field.

Dr.Ziggy is a Clinical Sexologist and Social Psychologist that has conducted research in the Lifestyle for the last 10 years. His area of concentration is Sexual Behaviour and Sexual Motivation.

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LifeStyle Business for Fun and Profit

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

Written by Steven J. Weil, PhD, EA, Naked Accounting
Swingers View-Lifestyle BusinessVisit any LifeStyle club and you’ll see cross-promotions for travel and web sites. Stop in at one of the many LifeStyle conventions held across the country and you’ll find a myriad of vendors. These vendors sell: adult toys, club wear, jewelry, travel, fetish wear, leather products, tattoos and everything else imaginable that can be related in any way to sex or the LifeStyle.

What makes lifestylers an attractive market? (Yeah I know, that was easy.) It’s the demographics. Look around at any club or event. Your fellow party goers are probably between 30 and 50 years old with above average disposable incomes. This is a group that thrives on conspicuous consumption and immediate gratification. Luxury vehicles, designer clothes and frequent, often exotic vacations are common. Lifestylers don’t just know how to have fun, they’ve perfected it. When was the last time you saw unhappy people at a club or convention?

So is a LifeStyle business for you?

You don’t just have to be in the “adult oriented” business to market to lifestylers. For example we know of both real estate and investment professionals that have found that the LifeStyle is the perfect place to look for new clients. Who better to find your new home than a real estate professional who understands that an 8 person hot tub is a necessity, not a luxury?

Business is business and LifeStyle businesses are no exception.

Starting a LifeStyle business or expanding your current business to include LifeStyle clients may mean a loss of privacy. Your future customers want to do business with John Smith, not HotCouple7822. They expect to be able to get in touch with you. You are going to be revealing your phone number and a business address to them. Would you do business with someone operating out of a PO Box and a free Hotmail address? Even if you are just adding LifeStyle customers or clients to your current business, you may wish to set up a new business entity to separate these customers or clients from your other, more traditional clients or customers.

There are many choices to be made in setting up a LifeStyle business. Should you incorporate? Should you elect S corporate status? Would it be better to do business as a Limited Liability Company (LLC). Is a partnership or limited partnership right for you? Each of these choices affects your personal liability and your tax status. There is no right entity that fits everyone’s needs. So how do you choose? It’s best to review your business plans and objectives along with your personal financial and tax status with a competent accountant who will help you to understand the pros and cons of each choice. This will allow you to make the choice that best meets your needs and objectives.

Then there’s the legal components. There are tax and liability matters to consider. For example, do you sell a product, run a website, throw parties or do anything else that could result in some sort of legal trouble? You need to determine your liability and protect yourself. Your accountant and attorney need to know this is a LifeStyle business, so tell them up front to avoid any foreseeable problems later.

In addition, what happens if your business does not make a profit? Business losses are deductible but hobby losses are not. Setting up your business the right way can insure that you get all the tax benefits of business ownership. If you have business losses you will be able to deduct them from your other income, which may reduce the taxes you pay.

Always remember, as with any business, it’s important to keep your books and records in compliance with all federal, state and local tax laws and to file and pay all the correct taxes. There are people who want to limit your rights and control what you can and cannot do. Tax laws are powerful tools to effect results where the courts and law enforcement have been unable or unwilling. Remember that Al Capone never went to jail for murder, conspiracy or even bootlegging. He did go to jail for federal tax evasion. So be sure to file for federal and state income taxes, and to collect and remit any sales taxes due. Aside from it being the right thing to do, it makes you a good member of the business community. And you certainly don’t want to give any small minded, uptight, misguided activist any ammunition to use against you and your fellow LifeStyle business owners.

As you can see, setting up a LifeStyle business isn’t just a matter of getting a product and a mail list. There are many things to consider. Reading this article is the first step. The next time you visit a club or convention take a few minutes and ask yourself a few questions. How many of my friends are here on tax deductible business? How many are expanding their current business? Could I do business in this environment?

Then go have fun. That’s what we’re all here for anyway.

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What’s Your Fetish?

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

Written by Brian Depenbrock, Swinglifestyle
Swingers View-Whats Your FetishSwinging is a fetish, watching, orgies, sharing. Yep, all fetishes. Just like swinging, Fetishes are anything from mild to wild. From tickling with a feather to spanking and restraint. In this issue we’ll cover the broad fetish of BDSM. BDSM is a Lifestyle of its own and those that live the lifestyle occupy one or more parts of the BDSM triad:   BD – DS – SM

A Top or a Dom is generally the one in control, or at least that’s the way it appears on the surface. Bottom or Sub is being controlled. In actuality, the Bottom/Sub is in control of the experience and dictates what they will allow.

In a Dom/Sub relationship, the participants generally live as Dom/Sub, on an ongoing basis. The Dom controls the Sub’s life to a large extent, not as a slave, but as an elected leader. For the Sub, your Dom IS your world, you live and breathe for this person, not because you are weak or weird, just because you feel you need to be told what to do. Many marriages are Dom/Sub relationships. A Sub feels that they exist for and because of their Dom. In a marriage, one partner usually becomes the Sub in many things; “What’s for dinner” is an example. For a Sub, if the Dom is happy, the Sub is happy.

Dominance is the ultimate form of Submission. Without your Sub, you have no control, thus the Sub, by obeying the Dom, controls the Dom. The Sub decides to obey or not.

Many Subs wear a collar as if it were a wedding ring and usually will have more than one collar (vanilla for a night at the movies, or a more noticeable one for a night of play).

In a Top Bottom relationship, the participants are having fun for a short period of time, such as a powerful executive that relieves stress by being a Bottom for an evening.

Generally, one is either a Dom/Top or a Sub/Bottom. A few people qualify as a switch and can do both. It seems on the surface that it would be fun to do both, but once you’ve given it a try, you’ll usually find that only one “speaks” to you.

Most fetishes are M-F, although there are some F-F partners. M-M fetish partners are generally in their own community.

In many ways, a marriage is a compromise, or is it a switch? The male in a marriage is usually responsible for certain parts of a marriage and the female for other parts. Both partners “switch.”

Fetish Club info

A true fetish club IS: A place for members and guest to enjoy one or more parts of the triad.

A true fetish club IS NOT: A place to find a professional Dominatrix; you pay for entry to the club, not for someone to abuse you.

A true fetish club IS NOT: A dress up party where you need to buy expensive outfits and equipment just to get in the door.

Many true fetish clubs have an open door policy where most anyone can pay to enjoy a party, no special clothing is required just to watch and try things out. Just call and ask before you attend. Females can generally wear anything they wish, regular club wear is fine. Making a wardrobe decision can be a bit more difficult for men, but for your first visit, basic black will help you blend in.

If you’re interested, give a club a call and take a chance. No one will grab you and tie you up, unless you ask, and you’re free to simply watch. If you do want to play, you’ll usually need your own toys.

Getting started:

Swingers View-BDSMFind a local group or try out a club and learn. You can find local groups and clubs on the Internet or in magazines and brochures at adult book stores.

Clubs are for:

A place to go “watch” or participate.
A place to meet and socialize. A place to play. Expect a relaxed atmosphere. Watch – Learn – Enjoy

If someone asks to massage your feet, and you agree to allow it, that now makes you the Top (in control). You owe absolutely nothing in return. Your new Bottom has gotten all they want, to serve.

There is no pain in the BDSM lifestyle, unless that is what
you want.

A few books of interest:
“SM101″  by Jay Wiseman
“Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns” by Philip Miller

The movie “Secretary” is also a decent example of a Sub/Dom relationship.

My wife and I recently visited a few Fetish/BDSM stores, parties and clubs as research for this article. We were surprised to discover that, just like swingers, these people are often misunderstood. At first we were very hesitant about this article and more hesitant about visiting a club. We quickly discovered that those in the “BDSM Lifestyle” are regular people,”  Just like us swingers. Doctors, Lawyers, School Teachers and Firemen to name a few. There seems to be two classes of BDSM, those that play dress up and those play for real.

Many parties and stores are in the Dress up camp, outlandish outfits with party goes trying to out do each other. It’s a Halloween party every weekend. Attendees are generally required to dress the part (a potentially expensive endeavor) but this helps maintain that fantasy world they seek since everyone is dressed in theme. I don’t have a foot fetish, but man alive some of those sexy long fetish boots make my pants get tight.

The other camp are those that live and play for this lifestyle. Sure, they dress up, but dress up is not the point and is not required. Visiting clubs such as Klux Kink in Pompano Beach, FL. (Fort Lauderdale) is a relaxing, no pressure experience. We’ll, I say relaxing, but it was a very exciting experience. Relaxing from the standpoint of not being required to dress up or participate. Relaxing to have a drink, discuss a variety of topics and be around open minded people. Exciting to watch people play with BD, DS and SM, all in a safe comfortable environment.

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East vs West… The European Way

June 28, 2011 By lsmadmin 1 Comment

Written by Olaf
Swingers View-The European WayHave you ever been to Europe? For all of the readers who have visited this other continent, they will agree, that you notice lots of differences instantly when you leave the airport and for example “hit the Autobahn” in Germany.

People not only talk a different language, they live a completely different lifestyle as well. We are a German couple and both of us grew up and lived in Germany for a long time. For the past 10 years we have resided in the U.S. and that is where we started to get involved with the so called lifestyle or you could just say being swingers. We still remember our first visit to a local club here in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My husband told me to dress sexy, he himself put on a dressy shirt and some nice pants. Since we really had no idea what to expect, we were kind of surprised, to find a nice bar area, a spacious dance floor, loud contemporary music playing and lots of normal looking people, who just enjoyed the social aspect of the whole situation.

One of the friendly staff members gave us a tour around the club, showing us the locker rooms and play rooms, which were completely separated from the, let’s call it “social playground.”  We liked it, especially the fact that we felt comfortable enough to hang around for a few hours, without the feeling, that we had to interact or do something as a “newbie.”
Six years have passed since then and we still enjoy going out for a club night, sometimes just for a social evening, to meet friends for a drink and dinner, other times for a sexy, playful night.

Our last vacation we spent in Germany and decided to explore the European Swinger scene. Neither one of us had ever visited a German Swingers club before, so we picked two clubs that were recommended by some friends of ours. We pulled up their websites, to get some more information, about the location as well as the house rules, etc. The cover charge for a single evening is pretty similar to the U.S. clubs, but that’s about where the similarities end. The site said “Woman dress sexy” and “Men dress sexy too!”  My husband looked at me stunned “What do they mean?” he asked. So we browsed through the member pictures to get an idea and went shopping for “sexy” men’s wear the next day.

The big day came and we entered the club, covered in a coat, scarf, long pants and boots, since the outside temperatures didn’t quite allow to just walk around, wearing a hint of nothing. Once inside the club, we found ourselves in a big locker room, where we were able to unwrap and finally show off our sexy outfits. Thankfully, the room was nicely heated.

Swingers View-East vs WestThe club owner greeted us personally, we paid our cover charge and he led us into the club room. Wow, what a difference! Cozy sofa areas with candlelight and couch tables. Background music and a small area that would allow some dancing, but nobody was dancing.

People were gathered in little groups around the tables and bar area. There were no more than 12 couples and a few singles, which, as we found out later that evening, was a perfectly average crowd for a Saturday night. The main room wasn’t very big or spacious, although it had quite an intimate atmosphere.

We went to the bar to get a drink and a few minutes later some of the other club guests approached us to introduce themselves, since new faces are rarely seen. We were happy to notice, that the typically stubborn Germans were so outgoing and talkative. We’d like to mention at this point, that it seems to be a lot harder to strike a conversation or to really meet new people in an American club. Maybe it’s just because of the usually very loud music there.

We felt very comfortable after just few minutes there, especially my husband, after he saw that he wasn’t the only man wearing “sexy” men’s wear! Drinks and a Dinner-buffet were included in the cover charge, so there was no need to B.Y.O.B. Beverages, beer, wine, as well as a variety of hard liqueurs were offered. As is customary in Europe, no tips were needed or expected.

After a while we were, of course, curious to see the play rooms, so we wandered off to explore the rest of the facility. There were different little theme rooms, each one uniquely designed and decorated with love; cozy and quite inviting. A few couples were playing already, but their was no traffic jam. For the ones who liked it hot, there was a sauna. For the ones who needed to relax or loosen up, free massages were offered. Last but not least, we found clean, spacious shower rooms for both genders, to freshen up after a steamy encounter.

That evening we happened to meet some wonderful people and left the club not too late, maybe around 2 a.m., with a happy grin on our faces.

Overall we thought that this night was definitely different from a club night in Fort Lauderdale. Not necessarily better, just very different. The club had more the touch of a private party with an intimate setting. Although the same swinger rules apply everywhere, we’re pretty sure that anybody who’s new to the Lifestyle, would prefer an American club for their first night out, due to the fact that the facilities in the U.S. are generally set up for a larger crowd, more like a regular night club.

To all the swingers who are already a little more outgoing and like to comfortably present themselves in an intimate setting surrounded by strangers, we’d like to say “You have to see this! Enjoy the European way!”

www.swingfreunde.de

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