From the book “The Swingers Manual”

It is important to note that while at times you may feel comfortable receiving more than you are ready to give, you should not do so. By allowing someone else to do something to you, that you are not ready to return, you may mislead them into thinking that you are ready for more. Think of it as being fair to everyone. You really wouldn’t want someone to say to you “well, you can do this to me but I’m not going to reciprocate,” so why would you do that to them? Try to avoid setting up expectations that you can’t deliver on.

Let’s look at this example. Jack & Diane’s interest in swinging stems from their desire for her to live out her bisexual fantasies. Diane has no interest in touching or being touched by another man, however Jack is open to whatever Diane will allow. They meet up with

Sara & Stan who are open to pretty much anything, including full swap, but agree to give Jack & Diane a try. Over the next few months they get together on several occasions during which Jack is allowed to touch and fondle both women, but Stan is only allowed to touch his own wife. During one of their play sessions Sara gives Jack a blowjob.  Seeing this leaves Stan feeling rather left out. If Jack can get a blowjob from Sara, why can’t Stan even touch Diane? Eventually Sara & Stan call it quits with Jack & Diane because Stan can no longer accept the double standard he is being forced to live with. By allowing Sara to give him a blowjob, Jack & Diane mislead Stan and Sara to believe that they were both ready for more. Even though Jack and Diane are both ok with what happened, they would have been better to restrict the play to girls only until or unless Diane was also willing to give the same interaction to another guy that she was ok with Jack receiving. It would also have behooved Stan to speak up earlier and state his displeasure with the direction things were taking. Perhaps, had he done so, things might have changed to better everyone’s enjoyment instead of having to come to a complete halt.

Keep in mind that just as you have the option to set your own boundaries, other couples have the option to not play with you because your boundaries are too restrictive for them. While some couples will be willing to play with you regardless of your boundaries and will be happy to stay within your boundaries they may not be happy to continue to do so for very long, just as we saw with Stan and Sara.

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As the owner and hostess of the Swingers Board, I’ve spent the last 12 years giving and reading advice to swingers, both new and old. There are some truths that ring over and over again, and some issues that vary so much that only you will ever know the right answer for you.

“The Swinger Manual” is about helping you determine your answers, and helping to clarify some of the questions you already have and will have along the way.

Order your copy today at www.swingermanual.com

By Valerie Spice, Certified Nutritionist

I know several people have asked this very question and have at least either thought about taking a pill or wondered which ones work. I have always said “take the natural approach”. Make sure to eat a healthy diet. Eat several portions of fruits, vegetables and whole grains daily, while limiting transfats, saturated fats, sugar and white carbohydrates. This can help benefit men’s sexual health and health in general. Whatever is good for your penis is good for your heart and for your brain. Make sure to maintain your healthy cholesterol. High cholesterol can harden, narrow or block arteries that lead to the penis. You can maintain healthy cholesterol levels through diet, exercise and regular health monitoring. By adding regular exercise, you may reduce the risk of sexual performance problems and improve mental as well as physical health, both of which have a direct bearing on one’s interest in and ability to enjoy sex. Most natural erection pills, have a main ingredient called L-Arginine. L-Arginine is an amino acid and is considered the top vasodilator, similar to Viagra as they are nitric oxide enhancers. What this means is that nitric oxide sustains constant blood flow to the erectile chambers of the penis, which gives you a more solid and powerful erection. This discovery was initially made by the bodybuilding community. They found taking L-Arginine helped workouts but as a side effect helped improve erections. Even though Viagra may work well, the initial discovery of L Arginine is phenomenal and you do not need a prescription for it. The second most powerful ingredient is Tribulus Terrestris which is great for raising testosterone levels naturally. This will help with a daily maintenance of a mans sexual health and over all health. Testosterone protects your heart, and keep your bones and muscles strong.

Tribulus Terrestris: A non-hormonal herb that grows in tropical climates. It has long been used in Asia and Europe to treat sexual deficiencies. It naturally enhances testosterone levels in the body by stimulating an increase in luteinizing hormone levels. The increased testosterone can improve libido, prolong an erection and increase sperm volume and motility.

Niacin (Vitamin B3) evokes a discharge of histamine all over the body raising energy levels and stimulating a movement which leads to a more powerful sex flush. It also increases the mucus secretion in the mouth and sexual organs.

Vitamin B6 produces such neurotransmitters as serotonin, GABA and dopamine which stimulate harder long-lasting erections. It is one of the multipurpose enzyme cofactors critical in creating neurotransmitters that affect certain mental processes and increase in mood.

DIM: DIM contributes to a better metabolism in the most natural way possible by working with your own hormones and adjusting their action to avoid hormonal imbalance. DIM is an indole plant nutrient found in cruciferous vegetables including broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts and cauliflower. Unlike other plant nutrients, such as soy isoflavones, DIM has unique and distinct hormonal benefits.

L-Phenylalaline LPA improves memory and enhances your attention. It acts as a putative antidepressant refilling norepinephrine in the brain thus raising energy levels.

Epimedium: Also known as Horny Goat Weed. This leafy medicinal herb has long been used to treat impotence and boost libido. It restores low levels of testosterone to normal, resulting in increased sex drive, endurance, and sensation. Epimedium’s active ingredient is Icariin, which is a PDE-5 inhibitor similar to the prescription drug Viagra.

Maca: Maca assists in the conversion of L-Arginine into Nitric Oxide for increased rigidity and blood flow. Some of these ingredients can be obtained naturally by eating Brussels sprouts. If you don’t have time to eat a whole bunch of cabbage, Brussels sprouts, broccoli and cauliflower each day, you could buy these ingredients separately without a prescription in supplemental form but it could cost hundreds of dollars. Or try a product such as StamizynTM, as it contains all of the ingredients needed for a healthy lifestyle and a healthy erection. This is the first time these ingredients have been combined at the precise dosage for daily male sexual health. Because of the ingredients in Stamizyn, it is a great product to assist a man with getting in shape, aside from stamina, better erections and sex drive.

Stamizyn is great to take right before your desired sexual encounter; however it is even better to take daily to maintain stronger testosterone levels and sex drive. Stamizyn works best when taken daily because of the quality formulation catered to a mans health.