Written by Bob & Tess, Naughty in N’Awlins
The editors of LifeStyle Magazine asked us to write an article entitled “How to enjoy a lifestyle convention.” So, we spent an exhaustive year researching this subject so we could put together a sure fire guide to having a great time while at such an event. Now this may seem like a dream job, but let me tell you, its not easy spending hour after hour trapped in play rooms, judging wet “Tease” shirt contests, attending erotic seminars, meeting and dancing with over one thousand open minded, friendly, warm, giving , sexy and sharing couples. But because we love these guys, we sucked it up and went to work.
1. Conventions rule! Conventions are the best place for beginners to “test the waters,” because of the informative seminars and the sheer number of experienced couples to meet and get to know. They are also the best place for experienced couples to make new acquaintances, catch up with old friends and have a venue to party all weekend long.
2. Education: Conventions offer a wide range of seminars from “dealing with jealousy,” STD’s, erotic massage, photography, polyamory, BDSM, building communication, and on and on. You can’t find this kind of a resource at a local club or resort. Make sure you schedule time to attend some (or many) of these great seminars.
3. Forget the education, let’s party: Hey, seminars are great but we’re here to party! With dances, contests, entertainment and of course hospitality rooms, there are so many choices for a couple to have a fun time, the only real question is “when do we sleep?”
4. Speaking of hospitality suites, some conventions have special “Hospitality Suites.” What are these suites you ask? A place to get a snack? Sometimes. A place to meet people after the dance? Yes, and more. Much, much more. Hospitality suites are areas that most would consider the “on-premise” party area. You can head to this area to play, watch, be watched and best of all you don’t have to get your own room dirty. So grab your “essentials kit” (more on this later), a sense for adventure and head to the hospitality suites.
5. Smile: This is the single greatest piece of advice we can give you. We have seen so many nervous couples sitting by themselves, wishing someone would come up and talk with them, but they are unknowingly putting people off with an unapproachable look. Just smile. It’s so simple, yet it will make you so much more approachable. We are looking for fun, happy and secure couples, if you are looking sad, we’ll move on until we see someone smiling and having a great time.
6. You’ll get out of this, what you put into it: Talk to each other about what you expect from this weekend and then “go for it”. The minute you arrive, the clock starts to tick away. You only have a few short days to have fun and then the convention is over. Get out, meet people, participate in silly games and contests and have some fun. The party won’t come to you.
7. Put together an “essentials kit”: Tess has a great little black bag with everything we need to help get us through the night. Inside we have our room key (or anyone else’s we may happen to come across), some money for cocktails, condoms (at least three different sizes!), a small bottle of lube (very important), her silver bullet (in case of emergencies), Tylenol or Excedrin Quicktabs (someone always needs these), mints and of course a little blue diamond shaped pill (hey, if it works for Bob Dole). You can accessorize your kit by adding rabbit fur, vibrators, dildos, duct tape (for you McGyver’s out there) or whatever else might make your evening memorable. You can remember these motto’s: “be prepared (Boy Scouts) or “adapt & improvise” (Marines) but Tess prefers: Semper Paratus, which is Latin for the Coast Guard’s motto “always ready.”
These are just a few things Tess & I learned as we attended most of the conventions during the last few years. I hope passing on some of these tips will help you add to your experience while you are here. Remember, no matter what experiences you may encounter during this weekend, when it’s over, you will be heading home with your partner so keep the lines of communication open and show some respect and you can’t go wrong.